Fall 2010

"Every Day"

In Your Grace/
You know where I walk/
You know when I fall/
You know all my ways/

In Your Love/
I know you allow/
What I cannot grasp/
To bring You praise...
- Joel Sczebel and Todd Twining, SGM

We haven't written much lately. I hesitate to begin telling a story without an appropriately happy ending. Struggles sound so much better after some sort of resolution. Christians are supposed to have hope in the midst of hurt. And, joy...and a host of other things that make us different than we used to be. But, I don't sometimes. Then, it's easier to stay silent. So, I do. Usually.

Our baby died early this May. We hadn't yet told people of his existence. The depressing lack of symptoms seemed so similar to our first miscarriage that we only half hoped for the best as we more than half braced for the worst. Together, and alone.

God does use hard things to glorify Himself. He has before; He will again. I could compile a list of the positive truths of which He has reminded us and subsequently reinforced in us. At this point it would probably sound like I was trying to convince myself that the pros outweighed the cons. Then you might be misled into thinking that the hard part ends the first time the scales tip in the right direction. It doesn't.

Most (if not all) of you have been confronted with life-changing loss in varying forms. You already know that grief rarely presents us with tidy conclusions or satisfying epilogues. Rather, it ebbs and flows on a not-entirely-predictable timetable. It causes tunnel vision for a time which fades gradually even as it colors the way you see everything else. It has a nasty habit of returning with unanticipated intensity during socially awkward moments. It really hurts.

Knowing God now is the difference between flailing and sinking.

**

In order to be able to type the kind of where-we've-been-what-we've-done sort of newsy-news I've felt compelled to wait until I could compose something a bit more substantive.

Now you know.

Thanks for listening.

Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings
Yet not welcome any pain
Shall I thank You for days of sunshine
Yet grumble in days of rain
Shall I love You in times of plenty
Then leave You in days of drought
Shall I trust when I reap a harvest
But when winter winds blow, then doubt

Oh let Your will be done in me
In Your love I will abide
Oh I long for nothing else as long
As You are glorified

Are You good only when I prosper
And true only when I’m filled
Are You King only when I’m carefree
And God only when I’m well
You are good when I’m poor and needy
You are true when I’m parched and dry
You still reign in the deepest valley
You’re still God in the darkest night

by Mark Altrogge

It's the Cowboy Way!

Hmm

Boo Girl: I need for-dee doll-ers.
Mom: $40? What would you do with forty dollars?
Boo Girl: Some damage.

Some ONE is big now.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it....well, you get the idea.

We look like this. Some days.

Better late than never? (sigh, again)

Dear Family and Friends,
Our grandiose vision of finally sending a family update by Thanksgiving this year dissolved when we started receiving your Christmas letters in the mail. We apologize for the long silence. Much has changed for us in the last two years. The two biggest changes involve a new address and a new baby.
Mid-August 2008, we celebrated the signing of our first 30-year-debt agreement by packing truckloads of boxes and depositing them in a cozy house on the edge of a nearby town. Many thanks to all who helped make our transition a smooth one.
Five months later, Tiny arrived on January 15, 2009, at 1:00 am. She weighed 9 lbs. 2 oz. and measured 22 inches. Curt's sister, Janice, joined us for a few months fight before and after Cadence showed up. Her capable cooking, cleaning, and childcare made her presence invaluable to us. But, her company was even better.
After Janice left we developed a few new patterns for our freshly-minted five-person family. During ordinary weeks we don't reach for much in our regular routines, and as a result, we get some of it done.
Curt still faithfully works at Whole Grain Milling. Demand for organic grain remains high enough to keep him hopping most days. His commute doubled from five minutes to ten when we moved, but he still manages to come home for most lunches.
Sarah stays busy at home with the short people. Occasionally, she makes time to read (something other than Dr. Seuss and Little Bear), learn her camera, and keep in touch with friends and family online.
Junior Miss (4 1/2) speaks with authority on almost every subject, even the ones she can't quite pronounce, yet. She's taken some baby steps into the world of phonics and dreams of knowing everything. She climbs like a monkey and possesses mountains of energy.
Boo Girl (2 1/2) wants to be Junior Miss. Her attempts at "grownup" speech patterns induce parental giggles sometimes. She's never met a toy she couldn't turn into a baby doll. While she craves more independence ("Me do it!") than is good for any toddler, her tender heart can still be coaxed to the surface on a regular basis.
Tiny (11 mo.) makes us smile. She's big enough to crawl over and pull herself up into your lap, but she's still small enough to enjoy cuddling once she's gotten there. She spends most of her waking hours eating and investigating. She can melt hearts just by crinkling her nose in one's general direction.
God has seen fit to grant our family several pleasant (albeit, boring to read about) years. We thank Him for these. And, for you. As usual, we would prefer to be telling you all this in person. Stop by, anytime!
Much love from us to you.